I’ve been blogging a lot about environmentalism and ecofriendliness tips lately, and I had an inspiring thought: what if men could help save the planet just by doing what men naturally do? Here are my ideas; add your own in the comments.
Eat over the sink. You’ll waste less water washing dishes.
Eat ice cream (or drink milk) out of the carton. In fact, eat whatever you can directly out of the package. Every time you do this, you’re saving water and reducing the amount of detergent you put into the wastewater stream.
Light your flatulence on fire. Methane is a major component of flatulence, and it contributes to global warming 23x more (by mass) than carbon dioxide. Burning methane converts it into CO2, which isn’t nearly as bad. [N.B. Technically, CO2 emitted from living creatures is carbon-neutral, since our food was once a plant that took CO2 out of the air].
Pee in the dark, and stop using fossil fuels to illuminate your bodily functions. Leave the door open so you have enough light to aim. If you miss, clean it up with something biodegradable.
Don’t shower unless you have a good reason to.
Don’t do dishes until you have a full dishwasher load.
Other tips?
You’re brilliant, Justin.
Here’s a couple:
Do laundry as seldom as possible. Wear your clothes multiple times between washes. Don’t separate clothes before washing: only run full washer loads. Save electricity by not ironing.
Don’t flush the toilet for #1 (”If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down”).
Brilliant.
Don’t put out the trash, just let it decompose where it lies. Let the animals eat the remaining meat and stuff so that you’re not wasting good food.
Don’t use deodorant - this saves from emitting CFCs
Go easy on the tooth brushing. Save on water. In my case, don’t mow the lawn but every couple of months. All that green has got to be good for CO2 levels.
here’s three guys with whom one would looooove to cohabitate.
Dang, I can’t believe I forgot Dustin Hoffman’s “If it’s yellow…” line from Meet the Fockers. Good call.
We watched another great episode of Morgan Spurlock’s 30 days this week, in which two people from NYC go to live on a vegan hippie commune. They are off the grid, so they heat water for showering by lighting a fire. One person says “I can’t imagine doing this every day!” to which the other person replies “that’s why we only shower every 5 days.” Classic.
Really, though, will our standards of cleanliness have to come down a bit in order to live sustainably?
Don’t shave.
Eat at a sit-down restaurant for every meal - they have economies of scale that create less impact per meal, especially if they wash and reuse dishes and napkins.
Don’t refrigerate or reheat leftover pizza. Changing the temperature of something requires energy, but pizza is just as good at room temperature (preferably later the same day, not a week later when it’s had time to go seriously bad).
Pee outside. If you live in the woods. Not if you live in the city. That’s gross.
Be like Paul and use spit instead of hair gel - just don’t give your girlfriend a promotion.
Don’t waste precious energy looking for stuff. Ask your wife - she’ll know where everything is immediately.
Don’t waste paper by printing MapQuest directions. You’ll figure out how to get there on your own.
I think you should try doing this to help the environment and then let us know how long it takes Amy to be driven completely mad or force you to shower.
[...] a washing, and water fountains, which don’t require a container at all (and thus count as Manvironmentally Friendly). In the middle are containers that don’t completely go to waste, but still take some energy [...]
Duncan-
CFC production ended in 1996, so you can spray those pits as much as you want without harming the ozone layer. Your aero deo is propelled by something less harmful.
The metal can, of course, is still pretty wasteful. I prefer stick deodorant, which lasts longer per unit and works better, IMHO.