Rachelle blogged recently about her friend from college who came out of the closet and is now far from Christ:
So it s got me to thinking?.what I am going to do with this homosexual issue? (Because it s not an issue really. It s about people, not ideologies.) What does the Bible say, really? And in the face of what it says, can we find a way to live a more authentic love with those who are gay (practicing or not)? There are plenty of gay Christians, could any one of them live in my community in a genuine way ? or would they always have to leave part of themselves hidden, compartmentalized? Because if they can t live with us as genuinely as the next guy (or gal), then that to me is a flaw in what I m trying to build in my home?a less-than-successful attempt to live the way of love demo ed by Jesus. I d like to find the answers to some of these questions.
Many people, myself included, have responded in the comments, but what becomes clear to me very quickly is that we have made this issue different from all others, and that has caused a great deal of harm.
Normally, when there is a moral problem in the church, it is supposed to be dealt with by repentance. If the person refuses to repent, it starts to get into the uglier realm of kicking people out of the church and so forth (see 1 Cor 5, and note that this is a heterosexual moral problem). It’s pretty simple when the moral issue can be dealt with by saying “stop doing that,” and the person can get some counseling if they need it to quit. This is true for alcoholism, adultery, drug use, etc. We even admire those who have a great “testimony” of being delivered from such problems.
It gets more complicated with homosexuality, because of the immutability issue. People who find that they are gay can’t simply, by an act of the will, stop being attracted to members of the same sex and start being attracted to members of the opposite sex. Counseling doesn’t usually help, and may enhance the sense of guilt and alienation that people feel. The desires will probably always be there. But God’s OK with that.
You would think, at this point, that the church would present celibacy as a good option for gay Christians. It makes sense, doesn’t it? Everyone has natural tendencies that would lead them into sin if they were acted on, and self-discipline is absolutely essential to following Christ, no matter what you struggle with.
Instead, the church has said it’s not OK to be attracted to members of the same sex. You can’t be gay, no matter how you act on those feelings. In other words, it’s not OK to struggle with that. Never mind that it’s OK to struggle with any other sin.
This has had two catastrophic consequences.
First, it has led conservative Christians to confuse being gay with acting on the accompanying desires. Since the latter is not OK, the former must not be either, so the non-sequiter goes. I’ve heard long, complicated sermons on how it’s OK to be tempted, since that’s beyond our control, but it’s not OK to give in to temptation. But these sermons have never used homosexuality as an example. Thus, the church has not seriously posited celibacy as the logical path for homosexual Christians. I find this extremely odd, since single heterosexuals are universally welcomed and supported.
The second consequence is that many, though not all, homosexual Christians have not pursued a celibate lifestyle, and have ended up leaving Christianity altogether. After all, if the church is going to kick you out anyway, what’s the point in attempting something as difficult as celibacy? They have found immensely strong encouragement among the local gay community, and there is no reason to turn back to the church. In the process, following Christ gets squeezed out as a viable option.
Third, the church has responded to the gay person’s serious question “This is who I am - what am I supposed to do?” with “Eew, yuck. Go away.” Why? We don’t say this to heterosexuals who struggle with lust and fornikashun. We say that celibacy is what you do if you find yourself in this situation.
Finally, I’m glad that Rachelle points out that this is not ultimately about politics or marriage, but about people. It’s easy to construct arguments and quote verses when you don’t know anybody that they apply to - or at least, think you don’t. Really, we’re all in the same boat - broken people, with lots of sinful tendencies, who have messed up plenty of times, and need support and help in resisting evil and following Christ.
